—Haven’t posted in awhile (actually slacking on my goal!), but I finally finished writing out this one I’ve been working on for a bit. :)—
I don’t like bad days. I think that someone who has battled depression has a more difficult time keeping a bad day confined to one day. {I battled depression for quite a few years. I used both counseling & meds to help me get to “my” normal. I am currently still on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds.} It takes effort to keep the bad day in it’s place. Sometimes it even takes force of will to get out of the mindset that turns the bad day into two or three, or even more bad days. Just like in relationships, you can get stuck in a rut. Stuck in a certain mindset, an attitude, a “bad day.” When you’ve reached the 2nd bad day in a row, then you have a problem. That’s when you realize that something else has to be done or changed. Now comes your moment of truth, do you take the energy, time & effort to get out of the rut? Or do you stay, mired in the muck of your bad couple of days? In my world, it’s a tough choice to make. The lazy choice is to stay in your mucky bad days. The healthier choice is to make the change to have a better day tomorrow. I choose a better day, chose the same and we can BOTH have a better day!
There are only two good things about bad days. One is that they do pass on, eventually. Good days do arrive again, but the time-frame of when that happens depends upon how much help you seek in getting out of those bad days. The 2nd good thing about bad days is that everyone has them! If they say that they don’t, they are lying. J Everyone has a bad day now & then. People even have bad weeks. But, if you often find yourself having a bad weeks, get help! Depression is not something that can be fought alone. Some people (like me) need meds to control it. Others only need counseling. Still other need a combination of the two! Neither meds nor counseling are paths to be ashamed off. I personally put stock in both, since I have had counseling a number of times, and am on anti-depressant meds. Help is out there, you just have to look for it, seek it out, and accept it.
Not everyone actually has “clinical depression.” I understand this, so I am including some tips that work for my bad days that I have even on meds. : )
- Laugh! I think this is one of the things that helps me the most. You get around the person who always seems to find a way to make you laugh, even when you don’t want to. Also, I like to add in some of my favorite funny movies. Any laugh = a good laugh!
- Talk to people. The conversation doesn’t have to be about what you are feeling, or going through. People need people. I sometimes wish that wasn’t true, but it is! Get around the people you think of as “your people” and hang! Bask in their presence.
- Do something for someone else. Listen to their problems. Take their dog for a walk. Something that you don’t “feel” like doing, but you know will make the other person happy. It’s much harder to be depressed when you are serving others.
- Do an activity that usually makes you feel satisfied/fulfilled as a person. When you spend time being you, it’s easier to ignore the “feeling” of not being yourself.
- Pray, sing, talk to God (if you believe in Him). He loves to hear from you, even when you are down. I always remember the “Footprints in the Sand” poem as well. When someone is depressed, they feel very alone. God is always there! : )
Since you so bravely shared, I will share a little as well.
I was diagnossed with PPD after Brendan was born, though in talking with the doctor the depression really started during the pregnancy. And in looking back over my life I don’t think that was my first bout of depression, just the first time it was labeled as such. The hardest part about talking about depression for me was that I didn’t have the ‘lay in the fetal position and cry for days on end’ depression. And because of this I sometimes doubted my depression was real and I didn’t think anyone would believe me. But I finally got to the point where I realized that I needed to share my experiences with people so that they could not only understand but be comfortable if they noticed similar concerns within themselves. Depression for me is closer to a manic description, I tend to have a hard time keeping myself at an even keel- I will fluxuate between highs and lows never really hitting a middle ground. And during my pregnancies the depression lows were even lower and often without reason, though unlike many people my low-lows only tended to last for a couple of hours to a day or so. I began taking meds after Brendan’s birth and then went off of them for a while because I didn’t like how they made me feel. A month or so before Keira was conceived I hit a low-low and was put on a different medication that worked great. My second pregnancy was very different from my first. I still had some lows but they were easier for me to manage and overall I felt much more in control emotionally. I continued taking my meds after Keira was born and am still on them with this pregnancy. My hope is to someday be able to wean myself completely off the meds but I also understand that may not happen and I am okay with that as well. I have never done formal counceling though I do think it is a great tool along with medication.
I have some tips to add to Elise’s.
1. Talk to your doctor if you think you might have depression. Your doctor cannot help you if you don’t tell them what is going on. And understand that there is no magical cure, there are still bad days on meds, and like me it may take a while to find the med that works best for you. But it is a step forward.
2. Don’t beat yourself up when you are having a bad day but also don’t allow yourself to wallow in it. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back to life. And when you feel strong enough revisit that low moment and try to learn from it because sometimes you can see triggers or things leading up to it.
3. Talk to your spouse about it. They may not understand but it will help both of you. Also, let them know when you are having a low day, be clear to them that it isn’t them and that you need some extra time or help.